In her book The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward, Melinda French Gates reveals what led her to divorce Bill Gates, but this book is not intended to feed the gossip mills. Gates explores her life lessons arising from several times of transition, in her life.
Melinda Gates does not travel a superficial path. She may be religious, but in this book her journey is more spiritual. She acknowledges her feelings, analyzes her deepest fears, and conquers obstacles.
Leaving a supportive, loving family to go to college at Duke in North Carolina she encountered homesickness, loneliness, doubt, and academic difficulties but she stayed at Duke. Sometimes she found solace in books or poetry. She joined a sorority and made new friends. What she went through is not unusual. Many freshmen make this adjustment. But she knew that it would change her life if she left school. She even went on to earn an MBA at Duke. Her father saw her as a scientist and mathematician, giving her the confidence to compete in tech fields mostly pursued by men.
A second key moment Gates describes came at the birth of her first child, Jennifer Katharine Gates. An earthquake brought this realization:
“My new world spun on a new axis, with Jenn at its center, I realized I would have died for her that night. I would have sacrificed Bill for her in an instant. I would have given my own mother’s life to save Jenn’s.” (p. 32)
She continues to talk about parenting:
“Eventually, I found that framework in the concept of the “good enough” parent. The concept traces back to a British psychologist named Donald Winnicott, who coined the phrase in the 1950s… (p. 42)
and
“Most of all, we need the discipline to separate our own needs from our children’s and the wisdom to know when to let go. (p. 35)
Bill and Melinda had a close bond with another couple, Emily and John. When John dies of cancer, Melinda goes through all that comes with a great loss. She describes how she goes on with her life, and how she supports Emily in her grief.
The moment Melinda understands that her gut is telling her that she needs to divorce Bill and pursue her own goals almost sends her world almost out of control. She finds a therapist, after much self-reflection who helps her find her way to her next day.
All these transitions are difficult, but even more so when your life is so public. Melinda wants to put her considerable gifts to work helping women around the globe achieve their own goals. Considering the challenges to women’s rights, even in supposedly enlightened nations, we can only applaud her present and future contributions on behalf of women.
Melinda French Gates is an authentic person, as reflected in her book The Next Day. Her experiences are not so different from those of all women. Even so, her book is inspirational and aspirational because of the courage and clarity with which she faces each challenge.
So Many Books, Choose Wisely 